week 1 journal 2

Do you ever feel like you have everything you’ve ever wanted when you look at someone? I do, when I gaze into his eyes there’s nothing better. I just wish that I conveyed my emotions to him better, I over think things and end up being awkward. I want to be able to communicate with him better but it’s always a struggle figuring out how I can do that. There’s this little voice in my head saying “No Crystal why are you saying that, and why are you saying it like that!!“. I want to be able to feel comfortable with him so it comes naturally like when I’m with my friends. He makes me happier than anyone on this planet and to him…..lets just say he wouldn’t really care if I was absent from his life. When were together I feel on top of the world. When he kisses me it’s like pure magic. When I’m with him I feel everything more intensely. I want to wrap myself up in his arms and lay around all day watching Netflix. I’ve always loved him, from the first day I met him years ago, I knew. I may get feelings for other people but nothings even comes close to how he makes me feel. I always thought there would be someone else who made me feel like he does, but I haven’t. I don’t think everyone finds soul mates that match. There’s so many people maybe sometimes you’re someones soul mate but they’re not yours. He makes me want to push myself to be a better person and that’s all I could ever ask for. That’s enough for me, just having him in my life. I don’t need to be his soul mate, but I think he’ll always be mine. For all he’s inspired me to do I’m grateful.

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